Love is a Decision

Do you agree with that? Don’t answer too quickly, really think about it.

I’ve found through the years of working with couples who are being challenged by their emotions that this is an important question to answer. With every wedding I perform, I listen and watch couples make commitments to each other and vow to love each other in the good times and the bad. I observe this knowing that for each of them, their vows will be tested.

It’s during a time of testing that how you answer the question - do I believe that love is a decision - becomes vital to whether a couple survives the storm or gets blown away by the winds of emotion.

Emotions are natural. Emotions represent how we feel about something.

Someone once said, “Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.”

It’s the decisions we make during those emotional storms that determine what we’ll do.

Do you believe that love is a decision? If you do, it means deciding to stay true to your commitment to love, even when you may not feel like it.

I once found myself in a counseling situation with a bride who really challenged this. She felt it was hypocrisy to go against her feelings and decide something that felt counter to what her emotions were saying to her.

Can you see the trouble with that logic? To apply that logic to life is a recipe for many tragic decisions along life’s path. Now, I certainly realize that sometimes no matter how hard we try or how committed we may be, things break and we just can’t fix them. We are a fallen race in a fallen place, and this side of heaven things certainly are not perfect. We all make mistakes and we disappoint people. Oftentimes, it’s the ones who love us the most that we fail and disappoint. We are not talking about perfection. We’re talking about making the best decisions we can, based on a decision to love that isn’t dominated by our emotions in the moment.

Jesus said, “This is my command: Love each other.”

You can’t command emotions. Love is not intended to stem from emotions. It stems from a decision to love and the emotions follow. Aren’t you glad that God chose to love us?

The Bibles tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

That means, even when we are not so lovable, God still chooses to love us. I’m sure Jesus didn’t feel like suffering on the cross for us, but he made a decision to love us - even unto death.

It’s up to you to decide. Will you let your emotions become the ruler of your life or will you decide to live above your feelings and decide to love, even when it may feel counterintuitive? The choice is yours.

Learn more at www.newlifeonline.com or follow Steve Lingenfelter on Twitter, @stevOLL.

*reprinted from the Peoria Times