Let's Stay Open

I don’t know anyone who marries who doesn’t desire the best for their future together. This is especially true for the bride. She’s dreamed for years of her prince charming and now here she is committing her life to him in marriage. The groom’s thoughts may not go as deep, but he’s just as committed to a happily-ever-after life together. Unfortunately, statistics tell us that more than fifty percent of these dreams are dashed by divorce. What went wrong?

As complicated as the male-female relationship can be, it’s sometimes as simple as staying open to each other. Let me explain. When God created us, he created us as one person with three distinct parts - body, soul and spirit. To stay open to your mate is to give all of who you are to them. By God’s design, it begins with the spirit. It’s through our spirit that we connect with God, and it is also through our spirit that we discern a natural connection with someone or not.

As a relationship grows, a soul connection is developed. We often describe this as becoming soul mates. It’s here where a deeper connection is experienced. The soul can be described as the place where our mind, will and emotions reside. When our soul opens up to another person, they tap into the depths of who we are. A deep bond is experienced.

Although many people get this backwards, the body connection is to be the last of the three parts to connect. After someone has discerned spiritually that there is a natural connection, the soul opens up to welcome the other person in to see who we really are. It’s then that a commitment to marriage can be best determined and finally a physical connection experienced. This body connection is to be respected and reserved for the couple who has committed their spirit and soul to marriage. I know this sounds old-fashioned but God designed it that way for a reason. When a couple opens up fully to one another, they experience what the Bible describes as a oneness experience. They are connected in spirit, soul and body.

So what causes this to break? Well, it’s a lot of things but simply put, someone in the relationship begins to close down rather than stay open. Imagine your hand representing who you are. Your fingers, wiggling and moving freely, represent your spirit. The semicircular ridge where your fingers meet the palm of your hand represents your soul, and the palm of your hand is your body. When things are good, your fingers are wiggling and happy, the hand is wide open and ready to reach out to embrace the other hand.

When offenses enter into a relationship, the fingers start to close over the hand and things begin to shutdown. The longer this goes on, the hand actually becomes a fist and the fight is on. Let’s stay open and work toward experiencing the oneness God desires for us.

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